


i know, you know, we know

by somehowunbroken



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: End of the World, Getting Back Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:20:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22962304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somehowunbroken/pseuds/somehowunbroken
Summary: Things change at the end of the world.
Relationships: Erik Johnson/Gabriel Landeskog
Comments: 15
Kudos: 98





	i know, you know, we know

**Author's Note:**

  * For [stormylullabye](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stormylullabye/gifts).



> every single ounce of blame for this goes to stormylullabye, who sent me the song this is named after and said "ej/gabe" and then told me that, yes, people DO want to read sad things i write.
> 
> the song is "[if the world was ending](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7viR3P6jeRQ)" by jp saxe and julia michaels.

Days on the ranch are all mostly the same: get up, spend some time with the horses, eat, spend some more time with the horses, go back to sleep.

It's fine. It's good, even, EJ thinks as he strokes his hand down BizNasty's flank. He loves his horses, and he likes routine, and—

Well. It's not like he's got a lot else going on, is all.

The point is, he's got his day-to-day on the ranch down to a science, so when he makes the turn from the far pasture back towards the house and sees a sleek sports car parked in the driveway, he absolutely lets himself have a nice three-count to sincerely not deal with it at all before he sighs and continues driving.

He considers trying to ignore… everything, honestly, but Gabe is standing with his arms crossed, back against his car, and he looks—awful, EJ decides. Worse than he looked when they got booted out of the playoffs, worse than after their last fight, worse than when EJ had stormed out, worse than all of it combined. EJ's mostly over it all, he swears to himself almost daily, but there's always going to be part of him that's too in love with Gabe to ignore him when he looks like shit.

Gabe doesn't say anything when EJ parks and hops out of his truck, which is kind of rude, frankly. The least he could do after showing up here is start the conversation.

"You look like shit," is what he goes with, because, well. It's on his mind, and it's not a lie. "Also, why the fuck aren't you in Sweden?"

Gabe shrugs, a barely-there motion of his shoulders. "I needed to see you."

EJ spreads his hands. "Congratulations, you did it," he says. "What, did you think up some more shit you wanted to rub in my face?"

Gabe flinches at that and glances away, and it doesn't make EJ feel better. It just makes him feel tired.

"I'm sorry," Gabe says, still gazing out over the pasture. "For… for a lot of things, but mostly for the way I reacted. The way I ended things."

It makes EJ blink, and then he shakes his head. "You're sorry," he repeats. " _You_. You're sorry. You flew from Sweden to LA to apologize to me."

Gabe finally turns to look at him, and there's a thin smile on his face. "Is it honestly that shocking?"

"How'd you even get in here?" EJ asks, and he starts walking towards the house. "I changed the code to the gate."

Gabe's laugh is soft. "EJ, you changed it to my birthday, same as your phone password is. Used to be."

EJ's stomach twists a little, but he forces himself to shrug instead of thinking about how that's still his phone password, too. "Okay, well. If you're not here to remind me about how we don't want the same things, and that you're not really looking for a forever kind of thing after we'd been dating for ten entire years, then why are you here?"

Gabe's quiet for long enough that EJ turns when he gets to the doorway, looking over his shoulder to see if Gabe's stopped following him. He's still just a few feet behind EJ, but he's finally dropped his crossed arms, letting them fall to his sides.

"You, uh," he says, swallowing hard. "You haven't had the news on the past few days, have you? I know your phone's off. I did try calling."

EJ frowns. "I don't have cable," he says slowly. "Why would the news give me an explanation as to why you're in my driveway?"

Gabe closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "Let's go inside," he says. "Let's just—let's go inside."

EJ stares at him, but a year apart has dulled his ability to read every single expression that flickers across Gabe's face, even after fifteen years of playing together. He's not surprised to find that he hates it kind of forcefully.

"Okay," he finally says. "Okay, let's go inside."

Gabe nods and gestures to the door, and EJ turns around and pushes his way inside. He hears Gabe huff something that's probably half a laugh, but he ignores it; he lives in the middle of nowhere and it's not actually easy to get onto his land, nosy asshole ex-boyfriends apparently excluded. Locking doors is for other people, that's his point.

They kick their shoes off in silence, Gabe balancing with his hand on the wall like he had a dozen times, a hundred, here on EJ's ranch and back in their condo in Denver and in a thousand hotel rooms across the country. EJ scowls at himself for not forgetting that particular fact.

"So," he says, turning and walking deeper into the house. "If you were here to fight with me, you'd already be picking one, which leaves me completely out of guesses."

Gabe's quiet again, but this time when EJ glances back, he's fiddling with his phone. He looks up after a moment. "I should never have told you I didn't want to stay with you," he says. "It wasn't true then and it isn't true now."

EJ feels like he's gawking, probably, arms dangling uselessly by his sides, jaw a little too lax. "What?" he finally manages.

"It wasn't because I didn't love you," Gabe goes on. "Because I did. I do."

"I retired and asked you to marry me, and you shut down so I walked out for an hour, and when I got back it was to a note saying you were gonna stay with Nate for a while," EJ says. " You fucked off to Sweden without telling me you were leaving, and by that point, I could take a hint. So excuse me for once again saying: what?"

"I was scared and I was shitty, and then when you tried to talk to me about it I got more scared and more shitty," Gabe says. "And then you left, and Nate convinced me that I fucked up badly enough that I had to let you do it, and..."

"And now you're here," EJ says. "What, did Nate let you off your leash?"

Gabe's smile is strained. "Nate's with Tyson, somewhere in Nova Scotia," he says. "Everybody's with the people—the people they love. Everyone."

"That's what happens when you decide you want to get married," EJ points out. "You get to stay with the people you love."

Gabe shakes his head, and he looks down at his phone again. He fiddles with the screen, then steps towards EJ, holding it out. "The news," he says quietly.

EJ looks at him for a long moment, but Gabe just stays where he is, holding his phone out. Curiosity gets the better of him after a moment, and he grabs the phone from Gabe's hand. He took long enough that the screen's gone dark, so he clicks the button to wake it up, ready to ask for the passcode. It still opens up for his thumbprint, though, and EJ glances up, but Gabe's just watching him, so EJ looks back down. He can… handle that later, he decides, once he reads whatever Gabe wants him to—

He freezes as the headline stares up at him.

"What," he says, and his voice comes out scratchy, like a choked-off whisper.

"I'm sorry," Gabe says again. "I… I really figured you would've heard by now."

"This is," EJ says. He clicks Gabe's phone off and shoves it into his pocket, then walks into the kitchen. His phone is off; it lives that way these days, but it's plugged in, and it boots up when he hits the button. It takes a moment to connect to the service, and then the notifications start pouring in, missed texts and calls and news alerts all pinging over each other, a rapid staccato cacophony echoing off the tile.

EJ looks up after a moment, the CNN notification on his own phone reflecting the headline on Gabe's back at him. "What," he says again, and his voice is no steadier this time.

Gabe takes a hesitant step towards him, then another. "NASA first saw it coming about a week ago," he says quietly. "They're… they're saying it's like the one that took out the dinosaurs. Maybe bigger."

"Bigger," EJ echoes. He looks back down at his phone; the screen is dark now, and he can see himself reflected in it, eyes wide and face pale. "Gabe, that fucking thing wiped out almost every living thing on the planet."

"I know," Gabe says quietly.

"The headline said they didn't have a plan, Gabe," EJ says, and he can feel panic bubbling in his gut.

"They don't," Gabe says, voice still so, so quiet. "There's no plan, EJ. There's no… no failsafe, no giant bomb or whatever to blow it up before it makes impact."

EJ looks at him, at Gabe's calm exterior, at the absolute terror in his eyes. "We," he says, swallowing. He sees his phone light up out of the corner of his eye, and he glances back down at it, the CBC app updating everyone to say that there's no new news. He looks back up at Gabe. "We're all going to die. In a little over a week, we're all gonna die."

"I'm sorry," Gabe says again.

"And you," EJ goes on. His throat clicks when he tries to swallow again. "You're here."

"I'm here," Gabe says. He hasn't looked away from EJ, not even once.

EJ puts his phone face down on the counter and takes a step towards Gabe. "Why?"

"Because," Gabe says. "Because if we only have a week left, I'd rather spend it with you than with anyone else. Because I only have a week to try to make up for—for everything I said and did, and I don't even know if I _can_ , but I needed to try. Because if there's any part of you that could forgive me—"

EJ takes the last few steps between them and yanks Gabe in, every part of him trembling as Gabe's arms slide around his waist. Something in him relaxes even as he pulls in a shuddering, painful breath, burying his face in Gabe's hair and holding on.

"You're here," he says, forcing the words out even though he feels like his throat is closing up.

"I'm here," Gabe says, and his voice is shaking now too, like he'd only been keeping it together for EJ's sake. It's probably even true, EJ thinks, even as his hands curl into fists in the back of Gabe's shirt. "I'm—unless you don't want me to stay, EJ, I'm not going anywhere."

"Don't leave," EJ says, letting all of the panic he's feeling seep into his voice. "We're—we have a week, right?"

"We do," Gabe says. He hesitates for a moment, then tucks his face into the crook of EJ's neck. "I'd understand if you wanted to go back to Minnesota."

EJ shakes his head before he even thinks about it. "I'll call," he says. "I'll… they'll understand."

"Yeah," Gabe says, voice quiet. EJ had half expected him to argue, to bring up that EJ's family all kind of hates him now, but all he does is crowd somehow closer. "They probably will."

EJ doesn't know what to say, where to go from here. He has no idea what his next step should be, or the step after that, or how many steps there are between him and the end of the world.

At least, he thinks as his eyes slip closed. At least if he has to face that, he's got Gabe here to face it with him.

**Author's Note:**

> this is where i usually say "and then they lived happily ever after!" but, like.


End file.
